Letters To Koko

Hi Koko, You turn four today! Four years, that’s a milestone – for you (and for me). I cannot believe I have spent such a long time at this new job called parenthood. I can’t say I am perfect at it, I don’t think I will ever be. But I think I am doing a pretty good job at it; so yes, even if I guilt myself into leaving you at daycare each day, or every time I scold you for extra screen time, today I shall give a small pat on my back. Anyway, today is about you and not me. So let’s talk about you, and maybe I’ll share a couple of parent-worthy gems of advice on the way. This year is going to be a milestone, in many ways. You are going to big school, you’ll be travelling on the bus on your own, you keep disappearing for hours as you are at some friend’s place. You are already a well-travelled young boy, you have been to places that were a dream for me when I was a kid. You have been to Disney Land, you have seen the Eiffel tower, you have been to the Colosseum, you know ho...

Hi Koko, So this breezy June morning in Bangalore when the traffic snarls were drowning my thoughts, I surmised that it's a great loss to you and me if we are not making memories. What did we do the past week, month or year? I am not sure if there are any moments that really jump out at me. While it is tough to concentrate with so much going on I just had a moment of calm; and all this calmness stems from a very wise little lady, about whom I am writing today. A couple of days ago, there was “Bring Your Kids to Work” day at your Baba’s office. Of course it was a lot of fun! It seemed to be too much fun for you for sure – you were jumping about in the bouncy castle, getting Spider Man tattoo, rolling in the ball pool and what not! Your friend Prisha, (aforementioned wise lady) who is obviously the poised one, was trying to keep up with you. Prisha likes jumping in the ball pool too – but she doesn’t throw the balls out like you, she likes playing with color, and p...

8 April, 2018 Hey Koko, Can you stop asking me questions which I have no legitimate comeback to? No, really you got to stop! "Shit is a bad word Ma"- when I curse an auto driver while driving; "That's a bad word Joy" - when your father forgets you are in the room; You little teacher, you! Yes, that time has come when the concept of "bad words" has been introduced to you. But, you always have an ace up your sleeve,don't you? I am trying to work on my control of using such words, and I thought a convenient way would be to replace them with milder substitutes. My word of choice was "weird". Little did I know that it was necessarily the word, but the tone in which you say it that was being picked up by my little one's radar. So the moment I called out to that rogue auto driver on the road, you pick up on cue and say "That's a bad word, Ma". Now I'll tell you a secret about the way grown-ups think - the...

31st January 2018 Dear Koko, Sometimes you are so smart, I am really at a loss of words. Like this morning when you were throwing a tantrum, trying to wriggle out of a chokehold while the entire household was trying to feed you medicine. I called you a drama queen and you, intelligent beyond your years, retorted, “No, I am a drama king.” My God, are you really growing up that fast? You already know the king from the queen. You say you feel sad if Jeena isi ka naam hai is playing on TV. Is it the success of the song or are you attuned to emotions in a curious way, I don’t know. See, I don’t know so many things, yet you surprisingly do. Which brings me to this other day, and I must tell you about it. I had a bad day at work. It seemed like I was swimming in an ocean of work, eternal and never-ending. I wanted to yell at someone but did not because that is what grown-ups do. I finished my work and got out of office, being stopped by a couple of smart (not!) people at ...

31 December 2017 Hi Sweetie, I write this to you while you are fast asleep and I have got some time to gather my thoughts around your questions and observations. This December, you completed 2 years and 8 months and you are a bundle of curiosity. Sometimes, my patience fails to keep up with it. Sometimes I fail to answer your questions, Sometimes I neglect them because I am doing something absolutely worthless in comparison, like ordering groceries or ironing clothes. I know it's wrong. Each night after you go to sleep and I am too tired to even get up and fetch a glass of water though i am parched I feel guilty as hell. I don't want these letters to to be sermons teaching you right and wrong. You are a smart kid and you will know right from wrong pretty soon. I dare say you already have a fair idea.  I don't want these letters to lecture you  about figuring out your future. I haven't wrapped my head around it myself.  I will try and address some questions yo...