Happy Angry


31st January 2018
Dear Koko,

Sometimes you are so smart, I am really at a loss of words. Like this morning when you were throwing a tantrum, trying to wriggle out of a chokehold while the entire household was trying to feed you medicine. I called you a drama queen and you, intelligent beyond your years, retorted, “No, I am a drama king.”

My God, are you really growing up that fast? You already know the king from the queen. You say you feel sad if Jeena isi ka naam hai is playing on TV. Is it the success of the song or are you attuned to emotions in a curious way, I don’t know. See, I don’t know so many things, yet you surprisingly do.

Which brings me to this other day, and I must tell you about it. I had a bad day at work. It seemed like I was swimming in an ocean of work, eternal and never-ending. I wanted to yell at someone but did not because that is what grown-ups do.

I finished my work and got out of office, being stopped by a couple of smart (not!) people at work commenting on how lucky I am that I can get out of work early every day. What to do Koko, some people are obtuse like that. I picked you up, did not get an Uber, got hold of this insufferable auto and finally made it back home. Needless to say I was quite unhappy at this point.
Then I saw you hopping up the steps and smiling back at me, and all was well. Well, almost.

You asked, “Ma, are you happy?”

I wasn’t, so I said “I’m angry.”

You said, “let’s play together. Why are you angry?”

I smiled and said, “when I try to feed you a banana, you are not happy, right? I am not happy like that.”

And you said, “I am happy angry. I am happy, I love you too much Ma.”

How do you make things so simple?

I wish I could get your wisdom.

Love you too much my little big boy,
Ma

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