What will you be when you grow up?

Dear Koko, 

There is a question which was asked very often when I was a child. It was one of those questions adults would throw your way and expect you to give a very intelligent answer. “What will you be when you grow up?” I want to be a doctor or I want to be an engineer were obvious prime picks back then. I believe they still are. It shows your ambition or industriousness. I found it difficult to answer always. How is a 10-year old supposed to know which way life would take her? I am not very sure I still know the answer of what I want to become, or what is my true calling. I see so many people in my immediate vicinity who are still struggling with this question. They are every successful mind you, in the eyes of the world. Earning fat sums of money, owning houses and cars and everything the heart fancies. Some of these people are still little boys and girls trying to figure out their lives. 

So, no pressure. Do what you want. This is the reason why I never ask you this question. But then you yourself come up with “ I’ll be a cop when I grow up”, at breakfast one day. A cop?  Now, where did you get this idea from? The answer is this innocuous show which we have been binge watching – Brooklyn Nine Nine. The lead protagonist Jake Peralta is a cop and a very cool one at that. When we watched Karate Kid the week before, you wanted to be a Karate champ. After watching the documentary on Diego Maradona, you wanted to be a footballer. When you heard the story of Mother Teresa, you asked me how to become a nun. The very next moment you want to be a guitarist or a chef. I am guessing it is a natural human propensity to seek and find where the heart truly belongs.

I love the enthusiasm and I won’t be one to thwart it. Only wanted to tell you that you don’t need to decide and stick to anything. Ever. That is the magic of it and it’s something I have come to realize only now. The social construct is such that we keep telling ourselves and others that the important thing is to achieve something, be something, and in this race of achieving we forget to define what this achievement is and how it would manifest. Our version of the truth is something like this – unless you have earned a couple of prestigious degrees, earning a million bucks, owning a house and a car, and you are single-mindedly doing ONE job to get there, you are a failure. That may not be true necessarily. We are constantly evolving. Our likes and dislikes change, our passions also need not remain the same all the time. There are some people who live out their entire lives never discovering what they truly love. So never stop asking questions, never stop learning. Just remember this – what gives you joy as a 6-year old may not when you are 10 or 25 or 40. There is always time to go back to the drawing board and start a new story. 

Love,

Ma